It wasn’t exactly today, it was on Saturday but I like my title. I think it sounds cool.
Anyway, I am off topic and you are probably wondering what happened at Costco on Saturday. If you have visited my About page you know that I am from New York-New York City to be exact. Whatever busy city images that pop up in your head in association with the Big Apple are correct. NYC is a crazy place. Especially on a Saturday evening, especially at Costco on a Saturday evening.
So there I was at Costco on a Saturday evening, dodging running kids, jumping out of the way of aggressive shopping cart drivers and enjoying the excessive decadence of groceries being sold in bulk. It was my usual Saturday evening.
Now, whenever I go to Costco on a Saturday, I am sure to encounter droves of children and their overwhelmed parents. It is the weekend ritual of grocery shopping with mom and dad, accompanied with the nosiness and excitement of being at basically a warehouse grocery store. Kids at Costco are my favorite things to observe (along with the sample stations), especially the babies and toddlers. I love watching them follow the noisy patrons with their big curious eyes and kick their legs as they ride facing their parents in the shopping carts. They are excited and have no idea how mundane the act of food shopping truly is.
This night at Costco, I saw a baby that looked a little different than the ones I was used to seeing at Costco or anywhere else. He was a regular baby, for the most part. He was smiling and drooling. His big black eyes locked with mine instantly. When I smiled at him he smiled even wider and giggled. His mother even joined the action smiling at me smiling at her adorable little boy. This adorable little boy was perfect even the unique birthmark that I immediately noticed on his face was perfect. It did not make his smile any less bright or his tiny little giggle any less delightful. The birthmark did none of those things, it did however make me think.
At first it made me think about an article I had read a few days earlier. The article was about an equally adorable girl from Australia who had a GoFundMe started in her honor by her parents to help pay for surgery to remove her birthmark (check it out). This little girl named Ruby (one of my favorite names) had the same birthmark as the little boy from Costco. The birthmark called Congenital Melanocytic Nevus and it is basically a mole (it can be large or small) that some infants are born with.
It is definitely a something that people are not used to. These children have large patches of hair on their faces, a sight that people are definitely not used to seeing. If it was not for the article that I had read beforehand, I would have been completely perplexed as to what was wrong with the little boy at Costco. But because of the article I was not perplexed I was thoughtful. It was going to take thousands of dollars and seven surgeries for Ruby’s birthmark to be removed. The process includes implanting a saline balloon in order to harvest skin for grafts when the birthmark is removed. Ruby will be undergoing surgeries for years to come.
These surgeries are not required to save her life, because the mark does noes affect her health. This surgeries will not relieve discomfort because the mark is not uncomfortable. These seven surgeries and the thousands of dollars being invested in them are all to afford Ruby a life without bullying and gawking. It is purely cosmetic and I do not blame her parents one bit. It will certainly be worth it. Ruby is beautiful with or without the mark but there is no doubt in my mind that having the mark would make her the butt of cruel jokes at school and the target of uncomfortable stares and questions in her personal/social life.
Looking at the little boy in Costco, I wondered if his parents were preparing him for the same surgeries. I wondered if they could afford those surgeries. I wondered if they had a different philosophy about the birthmark and maybe were more focused on raising their son to be proud of being different. Either way the next several years will be difficult for Ruby and the little boy at Costco, whether it is recovering from surgeries or learning how to be different.
What do you think?
A Healthy Future (?) 
Very thought-provoking…In a perfect world a child could grow up with this skin condition, and not be bullied, teased, etc. In a perfect world they would be valued for their internal qualities and their differences could be celebrated. However, as you note, we are not there yet, and a young person with CMN would possibly have to endure years of maltreatment by at least a few insensitve people. Since there are so many variables involved regarding particular situations, ie, parents’ views of whether to go through the surgeries or not, money, how unconditionally the child is loved. the parents’ ideas of how to deal with adversity, the temperment of the child, and how much support the child had in the way of loving, wise parents, teachers, friends, grandparents, etc., it’s very difficult to say if there’ a ‘best’ course. One would hope absolutely though, for the children with CMN who don’t get the surgeries, that they have the resiliance, support and strength to get through the difficult years, and triumph. The human spirit sometimes is tempered by adversity, though no one ever would wish it on anyone, especially a child.
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I really like your style of writing! Personally, I like how you stated your opinion a bit but also kept the it balanced both for and against the surgery. Both have their own pros and cons. This is a beautiful piece and it is very informative about a condition that I was not aware of until now. Keep up the good work! Can’t wait to read more of your posts. Please check out my blog morescoopplease.wordpress.com
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